Emotions: A Drama
(Roy is sitting at a table. Ellen comes rushing in.)
Roy: Oh, I'm so glad to see you. We desperately needed to get together and talk about this ... this conflict between us.
Ellen: But, why, Roy?
Roy: Oh, stop pretending Helen.
Ellen: That's Ellen.
Roy: Oh, stop pretending Ellen.
Ellen: What's the matter, Roy?
Roy: Look at me. Look at you. Look at us. (To audience.) Look at them. Somewhere something went wrong. When I look at you now, I realize you're not the girl I married.
Ellen: That's because we aren't married yet, Roy.
Roy: Stop trying to change the subject, Ellen. Surely, YOU can see that it's not working.
Ellen: What's not working? I don't know what you're talking about, Roy, I ... (Ellen starts sobbing intensely) ...Oh, you're right, Roy. What happened, Roy, what happened? Do you remember our first date?
Roy: Do I?! I remember it as if I were there. I picked you up at around...(Roy rubs his chin. A younger Roy walks onstage from the right. The current Roy and Ellen turn to watch.)
Roy2: (Continuing Roy's last statement without pausing. Looking at watch.) ... 8:00. Right on time.
Roy: Your parents fell in love with me immediately. (Roy2 knocks on door.)
Father: (Yelling.) Get out of here, you bum! (Roy knocks again. Father comes to the door.) I told you to get out! You're not coming near my daughter.
Roy: Luckily, I was prepared.
Roy2: (To father.) But Mr. Wempleton, I brought you some tennis balls.
Father: (Pause.) Well, OK. I'll get Helen.
Roy2: That's Ellen.
Father: Well, OK. I'll get Ellen.
(Father gets Ellen.)
Roy: When you came out, I was cool and knew exactly what to say.
Roy2: Ellen! What are you doing here?
Ellen2: If WE are going to go out on a date, then I should probably be present, right?
Roy: You were always so logical.
Roy2: Oh, yeah. I guess you should come along. My mo-ped is this way. (Roy2 and Ellen2 exit to the right. Spotlight is back on table.)
Ellen: I had a great time that night. Who knew that chopping wood could be so fun?
Roy: I knew. Anyway, when the date was over, there was that awkward moment on...(Roy2 and Ellen2 are back on stage.)
Roy2: (Continuing Roy's statement.) Your front porch. It's beautiful, Ellen.
Ellen2: Thanks, I made it myself.
Roy2: I had a great time, Ellen.
Ellen2: So did I, and I've got the splinters to prove it. (They both laugh.)
Roy: I know it was our first date, but, as I stood there, I wanted so badly to shake your hand.
Roy2: (Roy2 makes motions like he can't bring himself to shake her hand.) Well, goodbye.
Ellen2: (Disappointed.) Goodbye.
(Roy2 turns and takes two steps. Then he whirls around and runs toward Ellen2. They lock hands and engage in a clumsy first handshake. The spotlight returns to the table. Roy starts to talk as Roy2 runs off to the right and Ellen2 goes back into the house.)
Roy: I was so excited. I still haven't washed my hand. (Holds up real dirty hand.) I thought we were meant for each other, but now I'm not so sure. (Roy starts to get up.) Maybe we should just go our separate ways.
Ellen: Wait a minute, Roy. Don't I get a flashback?
Roy: Well, all right. (He sits down.)
Ellen: OK ... uh ...Oh! I know. Remember the night that you took me to...
(Roy2 and Ellen2 are seated at a table.)
Ellen2: (Continuing the statement.) Willie's House of Dip?
Roy2: Yep. Fourty-two different dips and all the chips you can eat.
Ellen2: It sounds great, but when do we get our food? Those people over there (points to Roy and Ellen) came in after us and they've got theirs.
Roy2: Here's Willie, now.
(Willie brings out a bowl of chips and a bowl of dip.)
Ellen: You ate like a pig, but I could tell that you didn't ask me out so I could try the watermelon and mushroom dip.
Ellen2: Is there something on your mind, Roy?
Roy2: Well, I uh ... I just wanted to ask you something.
Roy2: Would you were my ring?
Ellen: At that point, I nearly perspired.
Ellen2: Of course I'll wear it.
Roy2: Really? Cool. (Roy takes off the ring and drops it in the dip.) Oops! It's covered in dip.
Ellen2: I don't mind. (Roy puts the ring on her finger.)
Ellen: By now, we were much more intimate and we could express our love with more than a simple handshake.
(Roy2 and Ellen2 lock hands in a long, passionate handshake. Spotlight goes back to Roy and Ellen.)
Roy: That seems like only yesterday.
Ellen: That's because it WAS yesterday.
Roy: Yesterday? You mean yesterday we were in love and today this conflict is tearing us apart? What could have happened?
Ellen: Well, we've both gotten a little older and a little wiser, Roy.
Roy: Well, what should we do now?
Ellen: I think maybe we should see a counselor.
Roy: You're right. (A counselor walks from one side to the other.) Hey, there's Dr. Schtick and he's a counselor. Do you see him?
Ellen: Duh! Of course I see him.
Roy: Don't you know what this means?! We've seen a counselor.
Ellen: You're right! I feel better already.
Roy: So do I! I think our relationship has been saved! (He stands up.)
Ellen: (Standing up.) Oh, Roy! I love you!
Roy: And I love you too, Helen!
Ellen: That's Ellen.
Roy: And I love you too, Ellen!
(They shake hands and the lights go off.)