Those Wacky Dugermans
Episode 3: A Surprise Party for Gene
(George, Eileeen, and Gene are sitting on stage.)
George: Well it's another beautiful Dugerman day, right Gene?
Gene: It sure is, right Mom?
Eileeen: It sure is, right dear?
George: It sure is, right Jean? Hey, Gene, where's your sister Jean?
Gene: She's upstairs dying her hair to match her socks again. I'll go get her. (He runs off.) Jean!
George: Honey, what's the matter with Gene lately?
Eileeen: Oh, he's been a little upset ever since Denise left the Cosby show.
George: Ha Ha Ha. Yep, the times they are a changin'.
Eileeen: What did you say?
George:Oh, nothing. (Gene and Jean walk in. Jean has on blue hair and socks.) Hey? Now all the Dugermans are here.
Jean: We sure are, Dad. What's up?
George: (Points up.) The ceiling. (Gene and Jean laugh TOO loud and TOO long.)
Jean: That's a funny one, Dad, but I'm bored.
Gene: Geeeeeeee, Dad, so am I. The Cosbys wouldn't be bored. They would think of something to do.
Eileeen: I know what you can doooooooo. You can try some of my homemade pretzel rods. (Eileeen brings out a plate of pretzel rods and each Dugerman takes one.) Now eat up while I go check on my maccaroni balls.
Gene: (Everyone is studying their pretzel rods.) Come on, Jean, why don't you eat your pretzel rod?
Jean: Do you dare me?
Gene: Ok, I DARE you.
Jean: Darers go first!
Gene: Aww, Dad, do I have to?
George: Well, Gene, we all have to play by the ruuuuules.
Gene: All right. (He takes a bite. Then he remembers something.) Oh, nooooooo! I almost forgot! I've got to go prevent forest fires. (Gene runs out. Eileeen walks in carrying a large sponge.)
George: Honey, I'm confused.
Eileeen: You sure are, dear.
George: Why did Gene run out of the house to prevent forest fires?
Eileeen: Well, it seems that some bear on TV told him that he was the only one who could do it and well, you know Gene.
George: Of course I know him! He's my son. Why wouldn't I know him? But I was just thinking that...
Jean: Excuuuuuuse me!
Jean: I'm still booooooored. What can we do for fun?
Eileeen: We can eat more pretzel rods!
George: Noooooooooo! I mean, maybe there's something else we can do. Just let me think for a second...
(Eileeen and Jean start to sing the Jeopardy theme.)
Eileeen: (Jeopardy theme ends.) We need an answer.
George: OK. How about we have a surpriiiiiise party?
Jean: Yeeaaaah! But who will we have the party for?
Eileeen: I know! It might be Gene's birthday. Let's have a party for him.
George: This is gonna be great, but we better hurry. Gene could be back any time now! (Dugermans run off.)
(Someone walks across with a sign that says "Any Time Now...")
Gene: (Walks in with his shirt smudged with ashes carrying a cigarette butt.) Hey, I'm home! And look, if I hadn't put out this cigarette, this whole town would have been a blazing infernoooo. Hey, isn't anyone here? (Dugermans jump out on to the stage.)
(Gene screams and runs off stage.)
George: It's just us, Gene. We're giving you a surprise party.
Gene: (Comes back out on stage.) Oh. I knew that. (A long pause where the Dugermans just smile and look at each other.) So is that it or do I get presents?
George: (Remembers what is going on.) Oh, yeah. We each got you a little something. Jean, why don't you go first?
Jean: Ok. Well, Gene, I know how much you like to sweat so I got you some anti-perspirant.
Gene: Oh, you shouldn't have. (He hugs her.)
Jean: (Jean makes a face and pulls Gene's arms off of her.) Yes, I should have.
Gene: Well, thanks, Jean, it really means a lot to me. (He tosses it aside.) What's next?
Eileeen: Here you are, son. (She hands him one of those hangers with the paper on it.)
Gene: What could this be? (He shakes it and then unwraps it.) Wow! A hanger. Now I can finally hang up that sweater you bought me last year! Thanks, Mom.
Eileeen: Oh, don't mention it.
Gene: I really do like it, Mom.
Eileeen: (Angry.) I said not to mention it.
Gene: OK. What did you get me, Dad?
George: Well, son. I know how much you like the Cosby show, so I bought you some Jello pudding pops.
Gene: Geeee, Dad, these are great. You guys are really swell. In fact, you're better than swell, you're swollen.
Jean: Well, Gene, we all think you're pretty swollen, too.
George: Yep, Gene, enjoy your presents. You won't be getting any more because I've been fired. (Everyone stops and looks at him in shock.) Just kidding! (Everyone laughs.) Let's party! (The Dugermans start doing strange dances as the closing theme plays.)
Gene: Anyone want a pudding pop?
THE END - OR IS IT?