Those Wacky Dugermans

Episode 1: The Dugermans Go Out for Breakfast

(Inside the Dugerman's home. George and Eileen are already up. George has a look of glee on his face.)

George: (Yells upstairs.) Come on kids, your mother's out in our new Ford Festeeeeeva and she's ready to go.

Eileeen: (Sitting in onstage car - four chairs.) Honk! Honk!

Gene: (Gene walks in and yawns. The boy looks tired.) Geeeeee, Dad. Why did we have to get up early on a Saturday morning? I bet you the Cosbys don't have to get up this early.

George: Well, Gene, forget about those Cosbys because the Dugermans are going out for BREAKFAST! Ha Ha. What do you think of that?

Gene: Wow! Neato! This is going to be the best day of my life!

George: Great. Say, Gene, What's keeping your sister, Jean?

Gene: Oh. She's dying her hair to match her socks again. I'll go get her. (Runs off to get his sister.)

George: This is gonna be GREAT! (In walks Jean with yellow hair and socks.) Come on you two. Last one in the car is ... (the kids look at him with anticipation) a dummy. (The kids run over to the car screaming. George is last.)

Jean: Hey, Dad. You're the dummy.

Eileeen: He sure is dear. Now, put on your seatbelt.

Gene: Dad! Where are we going for breakfast?

George: It's a surprise, son. But we'll get there soon because we've got cruuuuuise control.

Eileeen: It's just like being on a cruise. Isn't it honey?

George: It sure is dear ... but if you fall overboard, it'll hurt a lot more. (Gene and Jean laugh TOO loud.)

Jean: Are we almost there?

George: Almost. But wait, we're going to over a bump.

(All the Dugermans bounce slightly out of their chairs at different times.)

Dugermans: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Gene: That was fun!

George: It sure was and presto - we're here.

Dugermans: (The Dugermans look at each other.) WAFFLE HOUSE!

George: Honey, if I park in a handicapped space, will you limp?

Eileeen: Oh George, I'd limp anywhere for you.

Kids: Oooooooooooooooh.

Gene: Dad. The Cosbys wouldn't park in a unless they were really handicapped.

George: You know, son, your right. I'm very proud of you.

Jean: Are you proud of me too, Dad?

George: Oh, Jean, I could never be proud of you - you're a girl. (Jean looks real sad.) Just kidding. (Jean smiles and everyone laughs.)

Gene: Let's go. (The Dugermans stand up, turn their chairs like they would be at a table, and walk around.)

Eileeen: There's a table. (The Dugermans sit down.)

Waitress: What can I get you, today?

George: Well, we're the Dugermans and we want waffles.

Waitress: I'm sorry, but we stop serving breakfast at 10:30.

George: But it's only 10:00.

Waitress: No way, you wacky Dugermans. It's already 11:00 Daylight savings Time. You were supposed to set your clocks ahead two weeks ago. Ha Ha Ha! (She walks away laughing. George looks bewildered.)

George: (To Eileeen.) I thought YOU did it.

Eileeen: (To George.) I thought YOU did it.

Gene: Aw, now the day is ruined. (Everyone looks real sad.)

George: No, wait, it's not ruined. We'll go home and have all the Spam and Cheez Wiz we can eat and, if we hurry, we should just about make it home in time for STAR SEARCH.

Dugermans: Yeaaaaaaah! (Everyone but Gene runs off stage, still screaming with delight.)

Gene: You know, this really did turn out to be the best day of my life. (Gene turns and runs off the stage screaming.)