Extra! Extra! Extra!
Earthlings Frightened by Our Alien Forces!
(Source: Zantarian Gazette)
|The recent invasion of Earth was a great success! First, we sent our deadly (and quite creepy) space zombies to battle their pitiful resistance force. We even disguised one of our top soldiers as Darth Vader, a terrible villain of Earth movies. Needless to say, the earthlings were terrified and ran for their lives.||Before they even had a chance to hide from
our horrible onslaught, we sent in our alien mother ship. It hung in the
sky like a giant silver gronyac*. A fleet of our best fighters escorted
the ship as we flew toward the Earth capital, a place called Downers Grove,
* Zantarian Pizza
|When we arrived at the war zone, our hideous plutonium death beam was fully charged. We quickly located one of their most important structures and positioned the mothership directly over it. The earthlings must have been petrified by the size of our craft, because they did not even attempt to attack it.|
|The earthlings stood by helplessly as we blew off the top of the massive edifice. Panic ensued as the earthlings realized that they were no mach for the mighty Zantarian fleet. They knew it was only a matter of time before we ruled their pitiful world and brought them back to our planet as slaves to toil in our Zantarian spice mines.||The earthlings were excited because they thought they captured the lifeless body of one of our top pilots. They were quite surprised however when he came to life and frightened a small group of children who were touring the facility.||As you can see, our pilot was quite all right, other than the large hole in his abdomen where most of his internal organs had been removed. We are certain that the earthlings learned nothing from the capture of our pilot - nothing, that is, except what it feels like to cower in abject terror before a creature of superior intellect and power.|
Just as we were about to take over the planet,
the earthlings started cooking something that we found most distasteful
and we decided to leave. Not because we had to, but because we grew tired
of tormenting these pitiful frightened creatures. Let me stress again that
we were not defeated, we just decided to maybe conquer a different planet.
Long live the Zantarian empire!